To get your ex boyfriend to come back to you after a breakup, getting rid of your desperation is the single most important thing to do to ensure that he will come back to you.
First off, you might notice that this is a site that typically teaches men how to attract women.
Please don't let that discourage you from reading more. From being somewhat of an expert on attracting women, I've incidentaly learned a lot about what men find attractive in a woman.
Yes, I know a thing or two about what makes men tick.
Also, I've dated more women than most men usually do. And needless to say, I've broken up with many women. Some of them I've gotten back together with. Others I did not.
But looking back on all of my relationships, and from learning from my readers how men think of women, I have seen some common characteristics of relationships – and in particular breakups of relationships - which provide clues as to what is the most effective way for a woman to lure back her ex boyfriend.
Are you with me now?
As I've stated, I've been in a lot of relationships with a lot of different women over the years, and I've of course broken off many relationships. Of the breakups, there were of course some women who attempted to get back together with me (I don't mean to sound arrogant here, acting as if I am the ultimate prize of a man).
It is interesting to look back at the many ways that women have tried to lure me back into a relationship. And I noticed that there is a common theme among the successful attempts to lure me back, one that I think applies to any woman's success getting her ex boyfriend back.
Among the women I broke up with and who succeeded in captivating my interest enough to get back into a relationship with them, it wasn't usually the case that the following types of things lured me back.
I don't think that successful re-seduction of a man after a breakup depends so much on rekindling physical attraction. Although that doesn't hurt, you're going to need more than that.
The thing that does separate women that succeed in getting an ex back from the ones who don't succeed at it is more of something psychological rather than physical or behavioral in nature.
The one thing that a woman who is successful in getting her ex back that distinguishes her from those that don't is that she does not appear desparate.
Women who have wanted me back and have succeeded in seducing me again did not come across as desparate!
They did not call me incessantly on the phone for weeks on end after the breakup, crying and pleading that we get back together.
No. When women do that, it comes across as needy and will push a man farther away than if you tried to push him away on purpose.
I've noticed that after a breakup, if a woman goes on with her life, and it appears that she is over the breakup, has forgotten about her ex, has better things to do with her time than mope and pine about him – she thereby increases her chances of getting back together with her boyfriend tremendously.
I've noticed this with myself and with other guys who's ex's were successful in getting them back.
If you appear to be happy and content to go on without your ex boyfriend, your ex boyfriend will be much more compelled to get back together with you and see you as a prize rather than a pity case.
I could elaborate on this a bit more (about not being desparate), but I think that others have done a very good job at it.
And by not being desperate, that is definitely not the same thing as simply not acting desperate. Being and acting are not the same thing and if you only act desperate he will surely smell your desperation despite your best efforts to appear otherwise.
You can't fake a lack of desperation and be successful in this. Faked lack of desperation is an ineffective substitute for a genuine lack of desperation combined with an inner feeling and outward exuberance of self-assurance and self-worth.
I hope you understand the difference between appearing like you're not desperate and actually not being desperate. That is the crucial distinction.
One thing that is very attractive trait of a woman to a man is that the woman doesn't need him.
A woman who is happy and emotionally independent is much more attractive than a woman who is emotionally needy.
If you appear to your ex as being needy and emotionally dependant on him for your happiness, you will appear unattractive to him.
Men love a good challenge and when he is presented with a needy and emotionally clingy ex girlfriend – he is presented with NO challenge and will stay away from you and find a girl who is a challenge.
When a woman (or man for that matter) is needy & clingy, nothing is more pitiful and unattractive.
Leave him wondering what you are doing.
If he has the impression that you are not only doing well, but thriving without him, he might start to reevaluate the breakup and come to the idea that he is missing out on something (you are that something).
I hope to have explained well the detrimental effect desperation has on your chances of getting back together with your ex. Removing every last remnant of desperation and emotional neediness will not only improve your odds of getting your ex boyfriend back, you'll also feel better as a person with high self regard.
Heartbroken- Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back - January 01, 2009
Secret To Make Your Ex Return Your Call - January 01, 2009
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