When almost your entire sense of self esteems relies on your success or failure to meet, attract, and seduce women, that's when you've got problems.
I used to be of the attitude that I didn't feel good about myself, nor did I have healthy self esteem, unless good looking women liked me, unless I was sleeping with hot women, etc.
And I did get laid a lot, I did manage to attract women, etc.. But it was difficult in that my self esteem depended on it. Interacting with women was like a laborious job, a do or die situation where with each and every interaction I had with a chick, everything I said or did was secretly about feeding my low self esteem.
My success and close rate was high during that state of attitude, but now that I look back, I could have gotten laid even more, and had more mutually satisfying relationships if my interactions with females didn't revolve around my self esteem.
I now know that ones self esteem should not depend on how many women you've shagged, how much money you have, or what happens to you, or what people say to you.
The self esteem should come first and then all of those things - money, fame, success, women - will more easily follow.
As humans, men and women, we have to regard ourselves as special such that our outlook (or inlook) about ourselves doesn't depend on externals. We must give ourselves unconditional love.
When we do that, when you love yourself unconditionally, women will be more inclined to love you as well.
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